Geekologie - Gadgets, Gizmos, and Awesome

Happy Fourth Of July, With Fireworks!

2008-07-04T21:35:09Z

The intrepid Geekologie Writer here wishing you all a happy Fourth of July. I'm currently between drinking binges and figured I'd say hi and let you all know I was thinking of you. I also included a video up of one of my favorite past-times -- shooting fireworks at your friends. And, like every firework war I've ever had, this one goes horribly wrong. Oh, and a heads up -- there's some NSFW cussing in it. Now everybody get out there and have a great holiday weekend. But remember: safety first. Under no circumstances should you play with fireworks without an alcoholic beverage's supervision. Happy fourth! Be safe and I'll see you bright and early on Monday. Youtube

Medical Manikin Is Pretty Freaking Disturbing

2008-07-03T17:03:32Z

This is an old dude with really saggy tits and yellow wires hanging out of his arm. He comes with interchangeable two penis and vagina attachments and is used to train doctors how to play dress up with a plastic dummy. See, there's a wig and everything. Accessories include two bottles of everclear, a sports drink, and some syringes. If you want one of your own to get freaky with they're available for around $1,000. Also, if you want to play doctor I will play with you. Medical Manikins Freak Us Out [gizmodo]

Chinese Military Prepare For Olympics

2008-07-03T16:00:56Z

So your good buddy The Geekologie Writer got what is known in the medical field as "fucked the fuck up" last night because his wife made the mistake of going out of town for the holiday weekend. He hit wing night, drank like 300 beers, and then proceeded to sing "Ring Of Fire" at karaoke (he has a deep, sexy voice just like Cash). Good times. His hands are still shaking. Anyway, this is a picture of the Chinese military during a rapid deployment exercise in preparation for the upcoming Olympics. Because, let's face it, nothing says "I'm going for the gold!" like military personnel dry humping Segways. BBC News Thanks Guillaume, I did a Segway once, but it was nothing compared to a Hoveround.

Robot Bartender Serves Beer, I Don't Tip

2008-07-03T15:00:02Z

Mr. Asahi was made by Japanese based Asahi Breweries and serves beer before stealing your girlfriend and making out with her in the walk-in cooler. It took over 200 man-hours to build Mr. Robobeer and he's pretty much limited to opening bottles and pouring draft beer. Did I mention he talks? He talks. Now I'm torn here because for once in my life I'm strangely attracted to a robot, but I think it's only because he serves beer. I'm really stuck between a rock and a hard place. Or, okay, my roommate and the arm of the sofa. Great, now he's drooling on me. Hit the jump for a worthwhile video of Mr. Asahi in action.]]> Mr. Asahi robot bartender makes its public debut [engadget] Thanks Julian, is it time to get drunk and celebrate our robot independence yet?

Sickly Modded Rolls-Royce Spotted In London

2008-07-02T21:30:26Z

This is a $1,000,000 highly modded 1995 Rolls-Royce Silver Spirit MKIV recently spotted in London. It was customized by Indian firm DC Designs and is rumored to belong to the Sultan of Brunei's family. I guess it looks okay, and I like the way the doors open (see pictures after the jump), but you know what really gets me? The custom plate. Somebody please tell me CEXI means something in another language or counting system. Because as far as I know, it's a tacky misspelling of "SEXY" and makes you look like an idiot. This reminds me: there was a girl that went to my high school, Lexi, and when she turned 16 her parents got her a new car. And you know what custom plate she chose? "SXI LEXI". The best part was she was nowhere near sexy. She should have gone with "FUGLY LX". I mean she was bad. I'm talking possum ugly. Pogly. Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures of a car I'll never own.]]> Ultimate Rolls-Royce photographed in London [autotrader] Thanks Marshall, but I'll be sticking to the Neon until it breaks down. Then I'm thinking about an electric scooter.

Telling Time With Colors: The Galaxy Watch

2008-07-02T20:30:52Z

Well it's been a little while since we've posted some sweet time-telling gadgetry, so I figured now is as good a time as any to hit you with Tokyoflash's newest offering -- The Galaxy.

The cryptic looking display is deceptively easy to read; one touch of the upper button initiates a programmed animation of light, and then presents the time. Twelve yellow bars represent hours in a clock wise direction, eleven red bars represent groups of five minutes and four green bars show single minutes. Pressing the lower button presents the time immediately. No ordinary design, Galaxy has a modern look with futuristic style.

The Galaxy retails for ¥13,900 ($133, and free 5-day worldwide shipping) and is just the icebreaker you need to talk to that chick at the bar you've been wanting to. "Hey, wanna know the time?" "No." "But look at my watch, it's the awesome." "Oh my goodness, it is! Now do me on the pool table." Well that's the way it goes in my dream anyway. You know, the one where I wake up with a cue in my thing. You know, the around the corner thing. Back thingy. My ass, I'm talking about my ass. Hit the jump for another picture. Oh, and I just got a couple Tokyoflash watches so expect reviews in the coming weeks -- complete with pictures of my hands and wicked scars! ]]> Tokyoflash Galaxy

Using A Laser-Etch Machine To Brand Yourself

2008-07-02T19:00:23Z

What you're looking at is a picture of a guy's hand. A guy who stuck said hand into a laser-etching machine and used it to brand a robot image into his skin. There are a bunch more laser-etch tattoos/brands after the jump if you're curious what burnt skin looks like, so check them out. There's also a video and link to the instructables detailing how the guys did it and what the experience was like. Which, to me, looks a little tamer than when I got branded with a heated coat hanger freshman year of college. My leg scabbed to the bedsheets when I passed out that night. Then I woke up the next day, developed an infection, slipped into delirium, and woke up two days later when my friends were taking me to the hospital. It was a crazy semester, but I still managed to pull out a solid 1.57 GPA. Skills: I've got tons. Brain cells: not so much. Hit the jump for a VIDEO, more pictures and the links. And yes, it's a true story.]]> Laser Tattoo [instructables] via Guy Uses Laser-Etch Machine to Tattoo Himself (Verdict: Flaming Nutcase) [gizmodo]

Oh Great: Robot Can Learn To Use Tools

2008-07-02T18:00:48Z

Wonderful, just wonderful. The UMass Mobile Manipulator, developed at the University of Massachusetts Amherst, can learn (by itself) how to use different tools (weapons).

UMan uses a regular webcam to look down at a table from above. By analyzing differences between adjacent pixels, it guesses where an object's edges might be found. Then it prods the object and, on the basis of how it moves, revises its estimate of the object's shape. It continues shoving the object around, observing how its parts move in relation to each other. UMan will push the object backward and forward along its width and length and at a 45-degree angle to both, if necessary, until it's satisfied that it understands how the object moves. Wherever the movement is restricted, the robot concludes that there's a joint. UMan then uses that information to figure out the best way to manipulate the object. It can also tell if there are multiple joints, and how those relate to each other.

Oh my God this is the exact opposite of awesome. I can see it now: some robot lopping my melon off with a pair of compound pruning shears. Great, this is just great. Fuck you, UMass robot sympathizers. Robot Learns To Use Tools [technologyreview] Thanks Steve, Shawn and Jim, now I have to break everything in my toolbox.

For The Plushie Trifecta: Plush Guts

2008-07-02T17:00:32Z

First it was particle plushies, followed by microbe plushies, and now, for the win and trifecta, come plush guts. Each organ is about 6"-8" in size and run between $16-$20 (except for the limited edition heart of gold, that one will set you back $30). I personally just bought a backup liver and uterus but was disappointed to find they don't sell my favorite organ. You do know the one I'm talking about, don't you? The spleen, how can they not sell the spleen? Hit the jump for a bunch more pictures of different organs, including the coveted heart of gold.]]> I Heart Guts! Thanks Jesse and April, now can either one of you perform surgery? I've already got the plush liver on ice and everything.

Good Looking: Optimus 'Scrap Metal' Prime

2008-07-02T16:00:54Z

Being a Transformer and all, we've seen Optimus Prime in a variety of different forms. And here comes another -- scrap metal. Optimus 'Scrap Metal' Prime is made entirely out of welded metal and makes for some serious eye/tetanus candy. Made by Robot-Models, this particular Optimus stands over 7-feet tall, weighs 550 pounds, and costs a whopping $6,896. If you like the style but can't afford to drop a few grand, they also have smaller models in the several hundred dollar range (pictures after the jump). But, being the Geekologist, I had to drop for the big daddy. It arrived yesterday, and guess what my wife had the nerve to ask -- "What in the hell is that piece of junk?" She should have known better. "He's not junk" I replied, "he's an early divorce present for myself." Hit the jump for two more pictures of this model and a couple of the smaller ones.]]> Product Site Thanks Billy, I put him right beside the bed to keep me safe at night.

Best Light Bulb Commercial Ever

2008-07-02T15:00:50Z

Hailing all the way from Thailand, this commercial was made for Sylvania by ad agency JEH United and has it all -- a picnicking family, ghosts, a guy who may or may not be a member of the Blue Man Group, and a transvestite. Advertising people, take note: this is how you sell freakin' products. Youtube Thanks Mikal, now I have to install floodlights in the bedroom.

Kid Breaks Guitar Hero Record, Is 13

2008-07-02T14:00:44Z

Danny Johnson is 13-years old that started playing Guitar Hero a scant 9 months ago. But that hasn't stopped him from putting my skills to shame and snagging the Guinness World Record for highest score on "Through The Fire and Flames". Danny scored 890,971 points in front of a live audience at the Guitar Hero 24 Hour Maraton in Dallas and has allegedly pushed past 950,000 points at home. Danny estimates he's played the song nearly 500 times since first starting the game.

Danny still plays "Guitar Hero" about three hours a day. And even though he holds the world record, he's trying to do even better on "Through the Fire and Flames," trying to beat his high score. That poses plenty of challenge for him -- if not some irritation. "I do hate the song," he admits with some reluctance. "It gets annoying a lot."

Three hours a day, huh? I see your three hours Danny, and raise you two more. The record will be mine. Oh yes, the record will be mine. Okay, now's the part where I say something mean about a 13-year old to make myself feel better because I'm jealous that he's better than me. Look away if you still want to have any respect for The Geekologie Writer. You've been warned. Hey Danny, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say the grand prize for the tournament wasn't a girlfriend, was it? Haha, BURN! Wait a minute, I don't have one either. Who's the asshole now, Danny? Yeah, still me. Hit the jump for a video of the record-breaking performance (filmed on a freaking television), along with one that was made in the comfort of his own home in which he scores over 949,000. ]]> Texas teen is a real-world 'Guitar Hero' [msnbc] Thanks to Matt and Uncle Eccoli, we're getting the band back together.

HD Sunglasses Suprisingly Not High Definition

2008-07-01T21:00:26Z

If there's one thing I've learned about fashion, it's this: I look damn good in women's jeans. Wait ,what? This is a glasses post? Ha, so it is. Well, just forget I said anything about shopping in the juniors section then. Carrying on. HD -- the new buzzterm to sell whatever the hell you want. In this case, sunglasses. So what benefits can one realize from a pair of $20 HD glasses? I'll tell you.

HD Vision technology gives you clarity that you have never experienced.
Enhance your vision.
Just like High Definition TV.
Modern European Style.

Yep, just like High Definition TV, folks. Older, tech-illeterate folks are busting a hip rushing to their land line to order even as you read this. There's a commercial for the glasses after the jump, and if you order now you get a patented HD visor clip to store the glasses in your car. Holy shit, an HD visor clip! Now that better stand for HanDy visor clip, otherwise I'm suing them for false imprisonment. Ha, did I just say imprisonment? I meant for being a bunch of misleading assholes. Poor old people. Hit the jump for a worthwhile two minute commercial.]]> HD Glasses: Because The Real World Isn't Clear Enough [ohgizmo]

When Airplanes Get Hit By Lightning

2008-07-01T20:00:52Z

Not much happens, as the metal shell of the plane acts as a hollow conductor, and the lightning just continues on its way to the ground.

But why doesn't the gigantic amount of current, which is in the neighborhood of 20,000 amps for a typical lightning bolt, harm the passengers inside the aircraft? Because the hull of the plane forms a Faraday cage! A Faraday cage is a hollow shell made of conducting material. A strong electric field outside the cage will force the charge in the material of the cage to redistribute itself, but the interior space inside the cage remains uncharged.

It's still neat to watch though. But that's not why I posted this. I posted this because how did the person filming know the plane was going to get hit by lightning? Here, I'll give you a hint -- sorcery. An Electric Aviation Experience [popsci] via What Happens When Lightning Strikes Your Plane? [uberreview]

Roll-A-Bout: Because WheelChairs Suck (Hoverounds And Rascals Are Still Legit)

2008-07-01T19:00:49Z

Forget to pay your bookie? Girlfriend beat you in the leg for commenting on the delicious roundness of another woman's posterior? Or did you just slam your leg into the coffee table on the way to the bathroom one night? Whatever the case, the Roll-A-Bout is for you! The $600 - $740 device is made for people with lower leg injuries (one leg at a time, please) that think wheelchairs are for old people and want something a little bit more office chair race-y. The basket comes standard on the model, but the cup holder will set you back an additional $15. Of course, if you want to save some money you could just mod an office chair like a normal person. Just add a little scooter engine, cooler, some turn signals, a microwave, card table, bedpan, a few magazines, pillows, custom mini-rims, naked lady mudflaps, and presto: you still get pulled over doing 8 in a 35. The Roll-A-Bout - A Questionable Alternative To Crutches Or A Wheelchair [ohgizmo]