May 20 2008 Steve Ballmer Gets Egged In Hungary
Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer got egged in Hungary by some student during a speech at Covinus University in Budapest. I'm kind of partial to the helicockter treatment myself, but that's just personal preference. Apparently the kid stands up, screams, "Hey you, Microsoft has stolen 45 million something something somethings from the Hungary people. Give that money back right now!" Then he lets the eggs fly (with absolutely no accuracy). What in the freaking hell is the matter with that kid? First off, he didn't even hit him. And secondly, egging someone is immature and I can't believe a college student would resort to something so juvenile. Grow up and buy some stink bombs already.
Another slow motion video after the jump.
May 20 2008 IT Kama Sutra Poses Threw My Back Out
We've all been there before -- you get home from the bars after striking out with the ladies but you're still feeling amorous. So what do you do? You bang your computer. Well thankfully this is not a picture of that. These are actually Kama Sutra positions to be used by trained IT professionals to mount a PC while attempting a repair. I know nothing about these, because I am neither an IT guy nor any sort of professional. I've only tried one Kama Sutra position in my whole life, and that was the Pterodactyl. You should really try it some time. Whenever you're on top just hold the sheet in your outstretched arms and flap it like a giant wing while yelling, "CAW CAW!" Trust me, it's the most sensual thing a woman can ever experience.
Kama Sutra For IT People [digg]
Thanks to Shawn, who has tried all of these, but with chicks
May 20 2008 Cyclepong 2.0 Combines Cycling And Pong
Cyclepong 2.0 (don't even get me started on Cyclepong 1.0) makes you work out to play Pong. "Put simply, the inventor created an arcade-like installation with a pair of exercise bikes, an LCD screen and customized software that enables a pair of individuals to pedal forward and back in order to move their pixels." If you want to take a pedal at it yourself and live near Suffolk, England just head down to the Southwold Pier and look for a guy wearing trackpants and a sweatband. Damn, I really wish I could give it a go. I mean, what could be more fun than exercising and playing Pong at the same time? You know, besides absolutely anything else.
A couple video demonstrations after the jump.
Continue Reading " Cyclepong 2.0 Combines Cycling And Pong "
May 20 2008 More Robotic Death And Destruction, This Time Under The Guise Of "Disaster Relief"
The Disaster Relief Robot was designed by Daniel Shankland, the same sick bastard behind the Firefighting Robot. The two robots were "designed with the same core parts and then specialized for the tasks we wanted them to complete." In this case they're supposed to aid disaster relief. But let me ask you something -- does that picture really look like two robots involved in disaster relief? No, it doesn't. What it does look like is either A) two robots ravaging a city looking for color to eat or B) two robots battling each and destroying a city in the process. Neither of which paints a very colorful picture of the future (just look at it -- it's all black and white). You see what I'm getting at here? That's right, the robots of the apocalypse will be powered by ingesting color and leave the earth barren of pigment. *sniffle* I'll miss you periwinkle.
A bunch more pictures, including a close-up of the crotch, and an actual model of the thing, after the jump.
May 20 2008 R/C Helicockter Interrupts Russian Speech
Did you read the post title carefully? That's right folks, somebody made a flying phallus and flew it into a news conference when Russian chess grandmaster and political activist Garry Kasparov was giving a speech. No idea if Vladamir Putin was the man behind the styrofoam salami, but he most certainly was. A translation of the website I got it from? Sure.
I do not have any sympathy for the Kremlin nor holuyam rumolovtsam nor kasparovsko-limonovskim dissenting, but this event fun ...
в общем, как я понял, румоловцы запустили на каспарова сию аццкую боеголовку: In general, as I understood it live on rumolovtsy kasparova retirement hellish warhead.From the video, obviously, that this "person Kremlin" kasparov strangely was wound circles over Limonovym until it is not brought down any of brave fighters kasparovskih.
Well there you have it, straight from the keyboard of some Ruski. And hellish warhead is right. Seriously though -- so someone flies a weapon of mass (erectile) dysfunction into your conference, big deal. Just make a penis joke and move on. I mean at least it wasn't pierced.
Arguably NSFW picture and VIDEO after the jump.
WARNING: It's a flying, relatively realistic styrofoam penis.
Continue Reading " R/C Helicockter Interrupts Russian Speech "
May 19 2008 Caffeine Laced Chips: I'll Just Stick To Coffee
If you're anything like The Superficial Writer, you down several cups of urine-fortified coffee to get you going in the morning (seriously, stop taking my parking spot). Well for those of you out there that aren't into the liquid (or soap) caffeine scene, how about some, uh, chips? That's right, Engobi "Energy Go Bites" are cinnamon or lemon (WTF!?) flavored chips laced with wake-up powder. While I couldn't find the exact amount of crack per bag, each 1.5-ounce serving is advertised as containing "70% more caffeine than those little energy drinks." Yeah, and all for the low, low price of $1.29. To promote the chips, Engobi is taking the chips to the street.
The company is running a "Girls, Guitars and Geeks City Tour," with a Guitar Hero-equipped van, giving gamers willing to leave their basements the chance to compete for Guitar Hero controllers and gear emblazoned with the name of everyone's favorite insomnia-inducing snack product.
And if you were worried that Engobi was run by a bunch of old shriveled nads with no concept of what's cool to their target demographic, fear not.
Says the company's VP, Mark Singleton: ""If this contest, the Engobi girls, or our high-octane Engobi snack chips don't perk you up, I'm not sure you have a pulse. With Engobi on the scene, couch potatoes just earned a place on the endangered species list."
Wow, Mark, wow. You just made a whole bunch of no sense whatsoever. Doesn't gaming promote a certain level of couch/desk chair potatodom? I can't remember the last time I played video games while running a marathon. Unless slapping a Nintendo Power Pad with my hands to beat Cheetah at World Class Track Meet counts. Which, damnit, it should.
Engobi Website
via
Engobi Chips: Caffeinated, Guitar Hero-Friendly [gearlog]
NOTE: Whatever you do, don't go to the Engobi website and then click Products, What's Inside and then scroll over the heaps of shit at the bottom. Trust me, just don't.
Thanks Shawn, lets down a bunch of espressos and punch holes in the wall
May 19 2008 Questionable: Huge LEGO Indiana Jones Boulder Rolled Down Hill In San Francisco
This is allegedly a 5 million piece LEGO boulder being rolled down a hill in San Francisco. I find it hard to believe it's solid and 5 million pieces because it seems pretty light. But who knows, stranger things have happened (my penis once fell off in the shower after I scrubbed it with a loofah). So these guys roll this big-ass LEGO boulder down a hill while some guy dressed loosely as Indiana Jones runs in front of it (and another in a fez that may or may not be Sallah makes bad commentary). Eventually the boulder bounces off a tree and stops after hitting a parked van. Now we could bicker back and forth all day long whether or not this is fake, so for the sake of argument we'll just agree that it should have been a lot cooler.
UPDATE: Turns out the boulder is styrofoam in the middle. FAIL. Thanks Detective Steph.
Thanks to Altaire, who could train horses to make more realistic LEGO boulders
May 19 2008 Russian Mario Kart Looks Pretty Good
This is a custom painted Lada Zhiguli Mario Kart from Russia. As you can see, it's got a Super Mario Bros. theme. "The mural contains Goombas, pipes, coins, blocks, red-shelled Koopas and of course, Mario-himself." Not much else to say, except that I drank with a Russian guy once. It all started when I bought a car on eBay. A drive up to Philadelphia later, I met with the car's seller (who, from the looks of things, was clearly involved in an organized crime syndicate). He broke the top off a vodka bottle and said I couldn't leave until we finished the whole thing. Obviously we did, but I had to sleep in the car that night. The next morning he took me to a title place that only did business in Russian. I was still drunk and had no idea what the hell was going on or being said. Long story short: there was a body in the trunk. I Febreezed the shit out of it, but you can still catch a wiff in the summer when it gets hot.
Close-up shots after the jump.
